Granny Conway

My father’s mother, Clara Mary Bonifas, was known as Granny Conway. My brother, Jim, was the oldest grandchild, so don’t know how she came by that name. I never wanted to be known as Granny to my grandkids. There’s a reason for that.

 

These pictures were taken probably in the early 1950’s. She would have been in her mid to late 60’s. Does she look all warm and fuzzy to you? She made me feel creepy. I used to visit her with my Dad. She died in 1957 at the age of 73. She had many siblings but they probably didn’t live near us or had died. I only met George and Susie. George never married. He had been somehow “taken care of” as a younger man so that he would not be able to have children. Whether or not he had a lobotomy as well, is not clear. He was a kind gentle soul. 

Uncle George (7 years older than Clara)

Aunt Susie (6 years younger than Clara

Aunt Susie never married (her choice I am sure). She was my godmother. Why my parents picked someone of her age for their young daughter’s godmother is beyond me. She was left-handed as am I. Every year on my birthday I received a $2.00 check she typed.  She lived into her 80’s and my mother cared for her in her last years. That couldn’t have been easy since in her ‘younger’ days she wasn’t the most tolerant person.

But I digress. Clara’s husband Will Conway died when I was an infant so I had her and my mother’s mother, known as Gangie, for Grandparents.

Zora Palmer “Gangie”

 No brainer – this is the one I loved.

Let me count the ways that Clara was not my favorite.

As a child, I knew her as cold, clammy with white hair that had yellowing stains in it. My Dad was good to her. She never seemed a happy camper. She lived alone in an apartment on the side of a house on Velasco (I think) in Dallas, Texas.  She lived the end of her life with my Uncle Walter and his wife, Mabel on Hazel Road in Dallas. Granny had uterine cancer. That Walter was able to take her in is beyond me. How easy a sell was that to Mabel. Of course, Mabel is a colorful character that deserves her own document.

Clara and Will Conway lived in Parsons, Kansas when their first two children, Walter and John, were born in 1904 and 1907, respectively. I know of no other children between them and my father, Bill, who was born in 1918 in Dallas, Texas. I can only speculate. After my father, came a younger brother and sister, plus another daughter who did not live long.

Walter married Nell Vickers and had a son. Do not know why Granny was against the marriage but she broke it up and I believe Walter was not allowed in his son’s life. Walter was a kind man but probably hard to stand up to Granny. John married Addene who I believe had been married before and had children from that union. Probably not going to sit well in that Catholic family.

Along came my Dad, Bill. The best thing to happen to any family and, how he became who he was in that family, is beyond me. My Dad was a very hard worker, great student and devout man. He was valedictorian of his HS Class and offered a scholarship to any Texas University. He turned it down because he went to work to support his parents, two older (now in their 30’s) brothers (weren’t helping) and younger siblings. He worked so his sister could take a bus across town to Ursuline Academy – the exclusive all girl Catholic High School.

Bill started in the sample room in the Cotton Industry and worked his way up to a Treasurer and Financial Officer by the time of his death in 1957 at the age of 38. Ruby was his childhood sweetheart. She was born in Dallas, but grew up mainly in Houston. However his parents lived next door to Ruby’s maternal grandparents, John and India Stuart. They were affectionately known as Mammie and Daddy Stuart. Her grandparents were devout Methodists. Though the Conway’s were Catholic, there was a lot of fighting and swearing and probably some drinking going on there.

Understandably Mama’s family loved my Dad but had some reservations because of his family. Ruby and Bill did not marry until he was almost 23 and she almost 25. Granny would assail him all the time about running off and getting married and playing the martyr. He was their meal ticket.

Well, eventually, Ruby and Bill did just that. They went to the Cathedral in Dallas and were married. I believe they went to Ft. Worth for their honeymoon and sent telegrams to their parents. Granny did not make life easy for Mama. Mother became pregnant soon after they were married and had been a frail girl. She had a rough pregnancy and was bedridden a lot of it. Daddy would come home on his lunch hour to help her to the bathroom and care for her.  Granny used to call and harass my mother. She knew Mama was having a rough go, and she would call her, let it ring and ring while my mother struggled to reach the phone, then she would hang up, Granny wanted her to miscarry.

Walter got wind of it and set her straight. For once, he had a backbone. Granny had destroyed his first marriage and was trying to do the same to my parents. He took her aside along with his brother, Dick, and said, “Mother, if Ruby loses that baby, Bill is going to kill you and I am going to help him”.

Credit my mother with being a person trying to make the best of it. In my childhood, I remember Granny being at our house and never once felt my mother was unhappy about it. She talked to her, helped her, you name it.

In June 1957, Granny died. I sat next to my father at the Rosary the night before the funeral. Aunt Mary, her youngest living child and only daughter, wailed and carried on, which only made me cry more. I felt sad because my grandmother had died. I didn’t like her but to me that was wrong because you aren’t supposed to feel that way about your grandmother. I was only 8 at the time. I recall vividly looking up at my Dad, one of the most loving people I have ever known. He shed not a tear. He was stoic in contrast to Aunt Mary. Only three months later I was sitting in about the same spot for the Rosary at my father’s service. I was truly inconsolable that night.

Your parents are usually pretty good about keeping the negativity about grownups away from young ears. It wasn’t until I was grown with a child of my own that my mother told me about what my Dad learned about his mother around the time of her death. I guess he thought the cancer had made her wise up and become a better person. He discovered however that it was all show and she was stealing from her brother, George, who was being cared for in a home. She was a liar and a thief. He had no use for dishonesty.

My aunt Susie was a tough old broad that thought we were loud. The last time I saw her, she took us to a Trini Lopez/Vicki Carr concert at SMU. That was so out of character. She wasn’t a bad person, but very severe. My mother, to her credit, made sure we went to visit Susie in Oklahoma City and when Susie retired she moved to a home in Ft. Worth called St. Francis Village. When she moved out of there, Mama brought her to live in the apartment building and cared for her. Susie left her things to my mother. None of my father’s siblings invested in Susie because she wasn’t the easiest person to be around. Mama did it for my Dad.

This is one of the many reasons I am proud to be their daughter. They taught so much without preaching. They just lived their lives as good people who cared for others. We all should try to be better at that.